Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Photos from Thanksgiving...

Oh man... sorry guys! I signed back on here to post some photos from this weekend and realized my Thanksgiving post (yes, that would be NOVEMBER) was still in draft form and that I had never even put that one up... sorry!!!



So, now I will do three posts of highlights from the past 6 weeks!



THANKSGIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA



(not a holiday here of course, but we thought we'd introduce our friends to the "American way" of inhaling a ridiculous amount of food and then promptly falling asleep!



Claire (left) was the one soul brave enough to help Beth (right) and I cook all day... well, I don't know that anything I did could be qualified as cooking... But Beth was awesome! :o)



















Me and Claire "helping" - and snacking!






The Americans











Removing the turkey guts! This is why we gave the unsuspecting South African this job!















Thankfully Beth was a Thanksgiving pro...













A little break to watch the Thanksgiving episodes of "Friends" while the food cooked :o)





Becoming an American already... full of snacks before dinner even started! We all know that kind of pain well...











Sweet potatoes in SA are white, and plain marshmallows are pink - this made for a very odd looking American dish...














Paul carved the turkey the only way he imagined how - with scissors. A little South African flair to Thanksgiving.






The spread...








The food turned out so well... the friends are still talking about it :o) I think this may become South African tradition as well!













Good friends, good food, good times...




































Friday, November 28, 2008

Thanksgiving...

The painting in my bedroom that I love... One of the little girls we have thinks that it's a painting of her because it's what her granny's house looked like.












My Bathroom

My Living Room














My Bedroom/Bathroom















My Bedroom

Here I am, another month passed, and no idea where it's gone!!! Yesterday, we had a breakfast for all of our house parents trying to convey what Americans were doing for Thanksgiving on the same day on the other side of the globe... I tried to articulate what I was most thankful for this year in general terms, knowing that if I got too specific, I'd be crying into a microphone!






So, in the slightly safer realm of a blog (where you can't tell whether I'm crying or not!) I'll name just a few of the ways in which I am probably more aware of how thankful I am this year than I have ever been...






* Sabana - though having this baby come into my life and then leave just 5 months later was heartbreaking, he showed me a vision of God that I had never seen before, and can't imagine having learned any other way. I wouldn't trade a moment that I spent with him, and am so thankful that God shared His child with me.






* South Africa - God so clearly led me to South Africa this year. I have not been homesick for a single moment (I've missed people I love, but never have wished to be anywhere else). I am so confident of the fact that this is where God has for me to be now, and am so thankful for that clarity and trust.






* Friendships & Family - those that I've shared life with for years, and those that are new or have grown since coming to Africa. God has made it so evident that He has placed specific people in my life with such specific purpose.






* Miracles - maybe I just never noticed them before, but I really have seen absolute miracles in the lives of the children of South Africa. So often, there is no justifiable reason that they should have survived, and yet they have not only survived, but thrived. One example over the past month was a 12 year old girl who arrived. Our team noticed that from her shoulders to her hips, her tourso was basically shaped like a barrel. She was taken to a G.I. specialist who discovered (no idea HOW ON EARTH no one had done anything before) that she actually was born with no anus. So 12 YEARS of waste had been building inside of this little girl, to the point that her intestines had been pushed up against her heart and lungs. She went into emergency surgery where it took the doctors 3 HOURS to clear out her abdomen and resize her colon (which had become the size of a small trash can). There is no explanation, aside from God, for how she could have survived this long. Beth and I took turns sleeping at the hospital with her for the days following her operation, and she is now so proud to show off her flat tummy! It had been at the point where she wasn't even able to sit up or walk properly, and now, for the first time she's been to the movies (to see "High School Musical 3") and is able to really play with all of the other kids! She has a colostomy while her colon and intestines heal, and then will have another operation in 6 months to have a proper opening made. Like I said... I am thankful for miracles! (One night in the hospital with her, she told me about what it was like for her when her mom passed away 2 years ago... her mom had been sick for a long time, and as a 10 year old, she went to buy milk and came home to find her mom... the detail with which she recounts the story is heeartbreaking. Closing her mom's eyes for her, calling an ambulence to come take her body, trying to lift her by herself... and then telling her 6 year old sister and suddenly becoming the adult in the family...)












So... to put it mildly, I am blessed and I am thankful.












I also wanted to put up a few pictures of my cottage so that you guys have an idea of where I come home to every night :o) It still needs some details (like the photos I need to frame and hang above the couch) but it's getting there :o)






Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Best of Intentions

(Photo: waterfalls at the botanical gardens - reminds me of where we used to hike in Utah!)





Once again, I know it's been WAY too long since I've posted an update on life in South Africa. Over the past weeks I've thought to myself over and over, that's something I should write about... And yet never have quite found (or made) the time to actually put it on the blog. From meeting a Zulu prince to attending this really cool outdoor jazz concert in beautiful botanical gardens, to hosting two sets of guests in South Africa, to opening and taking on the management of another home (bringing my region up to 6 homes)... it's been a pretty full 6 weeks since my last post. Oh, and I joined a gym on Friday night (which, for those of you who know me well should be a good indication of what the stress level has been because I have even liked it so far!)


In the midst of so much craziness, God has surrounded me with some pretty amazing people, which has been a saving grace in the past couple of weeks. So good to have those people with whom you can just relax and chat and do nothing...and have it be wonderful! After a particularly trying week earlier this month, Beth and I spent the day at a South African Spa... it was amazing to say the least. That is something I may have to budget for once every few months, though by the end of the day it was kinda like, "If one more person rubs my back...!" So for the price of what would get you a one hour massage in the States... we had a day of no cell phones or Blackberries, and it was perfect!


Last week my pastor's wife and daughter from the States came for a visit. It was such a gift to have friends from home! We made the rounds of Safari, Soweto, and introductions to our miracle kids. The photo on the right is one that I took at Regina Mundi Catholic Church in Soweto. Is is my favorite place to visit, so peaceful and so full of God. It was the stage for a number of the events that eventually lead to the end of apartheid in South Africa. Parents and students alike used to gather in this church to listen to speakers like Desmond Tutu during the 1970's and early 80's. On June 16th, 1976, when the first Soweto uprising happened, the police stormed the church and started shooting inside - resulting in the deaths of many children. The ceiling still contains bullet holes and the alter is cracked from the butt of a police rifle. I loved that the banners this week read "Be Not Afraid"...


This weekend, Beth and I have turned our monthly "America Night" party (have I mentioned those? Not sure...) into an American-style Halloween Party with pumpkin carving and "fall" foods - corn bread, my stew etc. :o) So, even though it is summer here, we're going to pretend it's harvest time!


This weekend I think I may also finally muster up the courage to visit Sabana's grave. His family chose to bury him in a rural cemetery, and from what I hear it's a beautiful spot with his name carved into a simple cross. I think it may break me, but I also think it's probably about time. Angie (formerly our Operational Director, now a friend!) and I were talking last week about how it is hard to find space to mourn so much of what we see in working with our kids in a country that holds so much. There is always another child and another need, so it is very easy to avoid processing the losses if we choose to.



On a far different note, the nerd in me is a little sad that I won't be in the States for election day. It's just not the same to fill in a piece of paper and send it through a fax machine! I've been sleeping in my Obama shirts as a sign of support from a world away! haha



Okay... off to get ready for bed now. Morning will arrive all too quickly!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Spring Has Arrived!


I just realized that I blew it by not posting again the day after my last one, like I said I would. Sorry about that. :)

It is now spring in South Africa and the colors and fragrances are just amazing. I think that this is the first time that I've been here in September and it's just beautiful! The only thing hindering this photo of the incredible purple flowers down the street are the spiked gate and electric fence! :o)

Last Friday we had Sabana's memorial service (I hope it's okay that I include his name now that he is no longer with us???) and it was so wonderful to hear so many people share their thoughts and memories of him. I didn't say anything because I knew I wouldn't be able to get a single word out without doing the "ugly cry". Angie, our director, got up and read Psalm 121 because she knew that it was what I had read each night that he was in ICU and I pretty much lost it. Seven of our older girls (ages 8-12) had asked if they could miss school and come to the service and so I brought them with me. I felt like it would be such a significant experience for them, since they are getting to the stage of asking a lot of questions about the losses that they've experienced themselves. The first time that they had seen me since I had been back, one of them looked at me and the first words out of her mouth were "Are you sad?". I asked what she meant, and she said, matter of factly, "Sabana died. Are you sad?". Then came the barrage of questions from them all about whether I had cried when I found out, and how it was possible that he could die if he had still been hooked up to the machines. They are so curious about death, not having clear memories of the deaths of their moms, but having heard it talked about. They are so carefully observing what grief looks like, not having had a real outlet, or period of acceptance, for their own grief.

During Sabana's service, when I had started to cry, the 10 year old sitting next to me, whose mom had died of AIDS when she was less than 2 years old, saw me crying and just watched my face. Then she nudged the girl sitting next to her to point out that I was crying. After the memorial, another one of our 10 year olds, whose mom died when she was 3, walked over to me and said, "Mommy Kelli, were you crying?". I said "Yes, did you see me?" and she got a tiny smile and said "Yes." That was exactly the reason that I had felt it would be so good to bring them. I want them to see that grief and tears are okay, and that death doesn't mean that God doesn't still do miracles. They had asked why Sabana died if we had been praying, and we had a long chat about the fact that God had a reason for Sabana to be here, and maybe that reason was finished. We talked about Hebrews 13:2, and how God sometimes sends angels to teach us about who He is and give us more trust and more faith...

In other areas of life, all that I can say is that I am blessed. God has provided such a wonderful group of friends for me here... We had another one of our "America Night" parties at Beth's house this weekend. We actually cooked Mexican food though. :o) Through the course of the night, there were probably 20 people who came and went, and it all just reminded me of what phenomenal people I am surrounded by - all so different, but all so amazing!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Back In South Africa

















I arrived back in South Africa yesterday. It has been so good to see the kids - I missed them!!! It felt like the perfect amount of time to be in the States... there were a couple of people that I had wanted to see and wasn't able to, but since I will be back for a week at Christmas, I will make sure to see them then! It feels like my next visit will be here before I know it.
I got to meet friend's new babies and hear about another friend's engagement while I was home... I feel so thankful to still be able to celebrate the big events of life with people I love so much.
The last 5 days of my visit I was up in Alaska visiting my college roommate, and dear friend, Jean and her two little munchkins! Her daughter Bethie is 20 months old and new baby Cate is just 7 weeks (or was when I was there!) They are absolute dolls, so full of life and energy! Here are a few photos since our friend Sarah had me promise that she could see them! The top one is of Bethie in the Minnie Mouse dress that has practically become her daily uniform (much to Jean's displeasure because of the lime green... but it's hard to argue when she's just so darn cute!). The second photo is of Little Miss Cate. Watching Bethie be a big sister was so fun. Most is just mimicking in the cutest way. Every time Catie cries, Bethie runs over, tries to hug her, and says "I know Baby Cate. I know."


I'm so sorry this is so short, I am running off to have a chat with some of our older girls. I will explain more tomorrow!


Love to all!







Saturday, August 16, 2008

The Kingdom of Heaven Belongs to Such As These...

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hold them back, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.'"
Matthew 19:14



As I type this, "my" angel baby is getting to be held, his favorite thing, for the first time in 4 weeks... and held by Jesus. He passed away today and for the first time in his life is able to be a whole and healed little boy, no longer having to fight, but breathing deeply the air of Heaven. To say that my heart is breaking feels like an understatement, and yet I have been asking God to take him for weeks in the midst of his suffering. I have shed so many tears today, most because of how much I will miss him, but at the same time, tears of joy that he isn't bound by his broken body any longer.

July 29th was really the night where he and I said goodbye to each other. It was the last time I saw him open his eyes, and it was the night that he shed his two tears as I shed mine. I feel like God so clearly told me then that he was not meant to be ours for much longer, and that he was getting ready to go. My one regret is that I didn't get to be with him on the day he died. It was the first time in the 8 weeks of being hospitalized that I hadn't been able to see him, because when he passed away I was on a plane crossing the Atlantic for my first visit back to the States. I arrived in California today. In truth, I didn't want to come back right now with him in the hospital. When I last visited him on Wednesday, as I was leaving the ICU, I turned back for one last look, knowing somehow that I wouldn't see him again.
In the nearly 6 months that we had him, everyone fell absolutely in love. He gave us a bigger view of God and because of his life, I trust God beyond any measure that I ever have before... He is already so missed...

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Waiting to See What God Will Do...


This is a photo of our sweet miracle baby that I took this morning. My heart is just breaking for him that this is what it has come to for him. Amazingly enough, he is actually doing okay, relatively speaking. His heart has stayed perfect ever since his surgery, his trachea is now perfect as well, and his lungs are improving every day. The problem we face now is that he has a raging infection in his body that is not responding to any of the medications that the doctors are throwing at it. Thankfully he remains sedated (for over 3 weeks now) so hopefully he is not feeling any of what is going on around him.

Yesterday I actually thought I was going to need to sign the forms giving consent for him to be removed from life support. He had crashed on Monday, but then was doing okay until Wednesday. On Wednesday his phenomenal pediatrician, who has been my encourager through all of this (always saying "It's not time to worry yet, I'll let you know if we get to that point), was the one to say that she thought the writing was on the wall that we were going to lose him. I had actually come to a place of peace with that outcome even before I heard it from her. There had been one night last week where he had kept his eyes open, watching me, for the whole half hour of visiting that I was allowed to have. It was the first time he had kept his eyes open and he just watched as I talked to him, sang to him, and prayed with him. As I prayed, asking God to free him from this pain whether it was through healing or going to Heaven, I looked at his face and there were two tears running down his cheeks. Of course that brought many more than two tears from me as I hadn't seen him cry throughout any of this.... Back to my story, so when the doctor said she thought we would lose him, I felt that I had made my peace with that a week earlier during my time with him since I just could not stand to see him suffer anymore.
On Thursday, the doctor phoned me saying he'd had a terrible night and an awful day and she thought that it was time to do one final assessment and then let him go. She asked if I could come Friday morning (yesterday) to be there to sign the consent form since we would likely end up taking him off of life support.
So I arrived yesterday morning and she examined him with another specialist and they found that his vital signs had improved overnight to the point where he was actually doing very well aside from the infection, and they didn't want to give up on him yet. I actually got in the car and cried after finding that out because I had really becoming settled with the fact that he would finally get to be whole and healed with Jesus and now felt like we were going to continue putting him through this horror.
The thing is, he's still fighting. Though he's not awake, every time he hears our voices, and anytime we touch or kiss him, he squirms and wiggles. So... now we pray for this wretched infection to leave so that he can continue on the road to recovery. His doctor has put a "do not resuscitate" order in place, and has promised me that we will not put in any more drainage tubes (like the ones you can see leading to the bag on his stomach to try and relieve his distended abdomen) or do any more invasive procedures. So if he crashes again like he did last Monday, he will get to be with God. I am praying that there will be resolution one way or the other before I leave for the US next Friday since I can't imagine leaving him like this. I've been with him every day for nearly 7 weeks now and I am going to have such a hard time if he passes away and I am not here. So please just pray for quick healing for my baby boy! :o)
Okay... gotta go, but wanted to put up an update!
See ya'll soon!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Every day is so different!

Hi all!

So, after the craziness of last week, I have so enjoyed this week... It has held sad things, and frustrating things, but over all of that have been the really great things. The overarching feeling for this week has been thankfulness for the people I am surrounded by here. God really has put together such an amazing community for me over here! Beth arrived on Tuesday (one of the friends I worked with in our office in the States - she's here to stay too! YAY!) and has just added to the amazing people I get to work with every day. They bring so much laughter as we tell stories about the kids and make fun of each other mercilessly... definitely the BEST way to relieve stress!! I love that so many of the people I work with are not afraid to be ridiculously funny. :o) This week has held so many great conversations with friends over lunches, dinners, and car rides that I am just feeling so blessed.
The hardest aspect of the week has been that the second attempt to take the baby off of the ventilator failed as well. After being told some wrong information by a nurse I was afraid we were just dragging out the inevitable fact of loosing him and walked into his doctor's office with tears streaming down my face feeling like we were just torturing this little boy. Thankfully, she assured me that the nurse was wrong and that there is no physiological reason for why he shouldn't be breathing on his own. Of course, this is still concerning, but it is good to know that all of the operations have been successful and that he now has a perfect airway that (once he realizes he can't depend on a machine) should work well! Tomorrow they will put in a "peg" where we will have to inject his food directly into his stomach for the next 6 months. The misinformation that the nurse had given me was saying that he would never be able to eat again, which, being his FAVORITE thing, made me feel like we were taking away everything that brought him the most joy. The truth is that the doctors don't WANT him to swallow for about 6 months because they are afraid that he will choke while the airway is healing. Six months is definitely better than FOREVER! So, please pray that when they make a third attempt at getting him to breathe on his own next week that it works!!!
Funny kid story of the week: One of our four year old little girls was too sick when she was two to actually go through the "terrible twos" and has always just been a little angel. Now that she is healthy however, she seems to be making up for lost time!!! Ever since her 4th birthday in July, she has been quite a handful. This week, she found a pair of scissors in the backpack of one of her big sisters and really went to town on cutting her own hair. Mind you, this is the third time in a month, but DEFINITELY caused the most damage! As a result of our little hair stylist's creativity, her whole head had to be shaved! It was the funniest thing I have ever seen to see her walking around bald telling people "I cut my hair!" with her little speech impediment (HIV has caused near-continuous ear infections that have destroyed her eardrums. Now that she is healthier, she will be having eardrum grafts this month and getting hearing aids, but as a result of 4 years of not being able to hear, she can be a little hard to understand at times!)
So... that's all for now and I am going to head off to bed!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Santa Clause Is Coming to Town


Hello all! I am enjoying a day of quietness after a couple weeks of insanity and have stayed in bed late this morning in hopes that the knot in my right shoulder that had set up camp for the last few days will fade! I've been eating Reeses Pieces in bed with a cup of tea and a movie... what a perfect morning! haha
I met with the baby's surgeon yesterday and he is confident that the surgery to repair the airway was successful, and that the reasons he needed to be put back on the ventilator was a combination of residual swelling from the operation and the fact that children with Downs Syndrome often struggle to initiate breathing and coughing on their own. This, combined with the fact that two other staff members have stepped up in an amazing way to help me with hosting our visitors this week, has led to breathing a bit easier this morning!
For some reason "Christmas in July" has taken over Johannesburg. I think maybe people here feel like they should do something Christmas-y since it is winter here, so malls (like the one I went to last week) have set up Winter Wonderlands with machines blowing fake snow and hotels have put up massive Christmas trees. It's one of the strangest things I've ever seen!!
I wish I had more time to write this morning, but I am now off to do some laundry since this is my first free day in a while! :o)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I Should Have Been A Hat Rack...

This is a crazy week... though I am beginning to think I may never see a normal one again! Earlier in the week someone sent me an email that said "I hope you've been able to rest before the flood of visitors arrives!" Seeing as the flood was raging BEFORE they arrived, it has just turned into a bit of a tsunami! :o) It is a week of wearing all of the hats that come with this job. Okay... I just went on a little tirade and then deleted it, because you never know who might read this, but basically, there are moments in my job (and probably everyone else's too) where the things we HAVE to do in order to make the big picture possible, seem to get in the way of the work we WANT or even NEED to be doing. Generally, I can handle it all pretty well, but this week, there has been so much going on that I feel like I am dropping the ball more than I would like to on the really important things having to do with the kids. Those are the things that I NEVER want to compromise on, and yet there are the hats... and more hats... and more hats.
Since our little guy has been in ICU, there are very tiny visiting windows that are absolutely enforced down to the minute by the nurses. This is understandable, because there are people in that ICU who's blood is literally coming out of their body in tubes and then being pumped back in again with a machine... Those nurses don't have time to mess around with visitors who get in the way of patient care! But, because of this, if I miss the visiting time (10:15-11am; 3-4pm; and 7:30-8pm) I'm out of luck. So far I've been able to get there every day, but tonight was a close call!!! I'd been hosting international visitors all day, but I knew that they were going to try to take the baby off the ventilator today and wanted to be there to see how it went. Long story short, I was SO afraid I wasn't going to make it to the hospital, and I knew no one else was going to have seen him all day, so as soon as I finished dinner with our guests, I did some "creative driving" (all lawful by the way... I think...) and made it to the hospital with 8 minutes to spare during the last visiting time.
Needless to say, the news was not what we'd been hoping for, and when they removed the ventilator, the baby couldn't breathe on his own so they had to put it back in. I spoke to the nurse about it and she said that it could possibly be that his airway is just still too swollen from the operation and needs a bit more time. They did do a chest x-ray and his lungs are looking okay, which is GREAT. So now we're hoping that the repeated ventilations don't scar his trachea again, because we can't do this operation again. He spent the whole few minutes I was with him trying to open his eyes to see me and straining against the strips of fabric that are tying his hands to the bed (so that he doesn't pull the ventilator out). His face is so horribly swollen from medication, and all-in-all it was just so sad to see... But I am SO glad that at least I was able to see him... Honestly, it is probably the fact that he can't yet breathe that is affecting my whole attitude (can you tell from this post that it needs a bit of an adjustment right now?!) Because the rest of the day had actually been pretty okay!
So... adjusting...adjusting... On a completely separate (and much happier) note, I read the most amazing book this weekend. It's called "The Shack", by William Young. In short, it is a novel about a man who experiences horrible tragedy when his young daughter is killed. (I know, not sounding happy yet, but trust me, we're getting there!) Three years later he receives a note from God asking him to come back to the scene of the murder. He decides to go thinking that he is probably going crazy but so angry with God that he wants to question Him face to face if the note turns out to be real. Over the course of the weekend, God, in the persons of Father, Son and Holy Spirit (each taking physical form in a way so as to go against all of his preconceptions), spends time with him bringing unexpected, and often painful, glorious healing. The conversations they have are stunning (to use a South African term) and I was so surprised by the honesty and grace with which this story speaks. It never minimizes the pain of the main character, but also never diminishes the God of the Bible either and yet somehow navigates an incredible road of redemption. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it! I hear that it's been on Amazon.com's Best Seller list... It made me see God in a new way...
So... I am now off to bed so that I can wake up early to squeeze in supervision meetings for my house parents in the morning wearing my "regional manager" hat (yes, in the midst of all of this I will begin managing a 6th home being added to my region!) before putting on my "host" hat again! :o)



P.S. To those of you who have emailed recently and wondered why you have not received a reply... as soon as the tsunami passes, expect a message from me!!! :o)

Until then, love to you all! (And I hope this third draft of this post didn't come off sounding quite as unfiltered as the first two attempts! Just one of those nights!)

Friday, July 18, 2008

He's Pulled It Off Again!!!

(Photo: During his days of sleep last week)
Hello everybody! Sorry for the delay in posting. Believe it or not, last week was FAR BUSIER than the "Day In the Life" week I'd written out the day before! This was mostly due to the fact that our little miracle boy, who was still in the hospital, began having seizures every 90 seconds out of nowhere last Monday night. The seizures were in his eyes rather than causing the rest of his body to shake. Since they were happening so often, his brain had no recovery time and he stayed asleep for 3 days straight while the doctor's tried to stop what was happening. Thankfully they were able to get them under control and last night he went in for the operation to repair his scarred trachea. In a 5 hour surgery, they removed a 1 cm section from the middle of his trachea and joined the two sections.
The doctors warned us that he may not survive the surgery, but I got to see him in ICU at 7:30 last night! They are trying their best to keep him sedated to give him the best chance to heal (this is our last and only shot to save his little life) but, as usual, he is fighting the sedation like no body's business! I rested my hand on his forehead this morning and he started wiggling around, even with his eyes closed! The doctors just used the same incision spot from his heart surgery in April.
God must have an incredible plan for this little life! Honestly, I've prayed that God would make it quick one way or the other. To see him suffering while I've been there everyday for the past 3 weeks has been wretched, and I've just prayed that God would either take him or heal him because this middle ground is torture (definitely more for him even than us)! Hopefully this surgery will be successful and then a quick recovery should follow!!!
Kim, the woman I used to lead my small group of high schoolers with, just posted this song on her blog. I went and listened to it and love it! It seemed so fitting for what it has been like to watch this baby beat the odds 3 times now when the doctors predicted death each time (hopefully this is the last time anyone will even have to wonder!):
"I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it
Something on the road cut me to the soul
Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of and what I know of Love...
I say what I say with no hesitation
I have what I have and I'm giving it up
I do what I do with deep conviction
Something on the road cut me to the soul
Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire...
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
Your courage asks me what I am made of...and what I know of Love...and what I know of God"
-Sara Groves, "I Saw What I Saw"
Please, please pray that this baby will make it through to the other side of all of this! He is such an angel boy! Until this past weekend, I hadn't seen him smile or make a noise for 3 weeks. He would just watch me quietly or want to be held and rocked to sleep. This weekend he grabbed a handful of my hair and started pulling and found it to be hilarious! I was so excited just to see him laugh that I have now been fully encouraging bad habits that his house mom will have to worry about breaking later! :o) In the midst of all of this, it turns out he's been teething and that both of his front teeth have come through! He never cried, except for when I put him back in his bed to leave, so I didn't even know!
Okay friends, I'm off to the movies and then to see "my" baby :o)
Lots of love...

Saturday, July 5, 2008

A Few Days in the Life...

Okay, as promised, here is a little taste of what days bring in South Africa! :o) I've decided to give you a few since every day is so completely different:

Tuesday July 1st, 2008
7:40 am - Wake-up (SO nice that the office starts at 9am... means I can sleep in a little bit!)
8:45 - 9:45 am - Supervision meeting with a house mom of 8 girls (I am the Regional Manager for 5 of our homes, so I meet with each of those moms "officially" once a week to make sure things are going smoothly and to address any concerns or issues with the home and kids.)
10:00 - 11:00 am - Host a pastor from Durban (a city on the eastern cost of South Africa) who wanted to get an idea of how our program operates
11:00 am - 12:30 pm - Try to get a little work done in the office (planning schedules for hosted visits by Americans, typing up reports on the homes, responding to the endless stream of emails etc!)
12:30 - 2:00 pm - Errand running with 6 little girls (the kids love coming ANYWHERE with me... they even ask to come to the gas station to fill up the car... always so much fun, but makes errands much more of an ordeal! The term "herding cats" often comes to mind!)
2:30 - 4:30 pm - Take Miriam (the other American friend on staff, she's 27) and Muriel (our Office Administrator) to visit the angel baby who has been back in the hospital for his lungs... his heart is fine now, but his lungs are another story...
5:00 pm - Take the same 6 little girls back to the grocery store because they forgot to tell me that they each need to bring a box of cookies to Holiday Club at church the next morning when we went to the store earlier in the day (they're on a school break right now)
6:00 pm - Come home, shower, put on sweats and eat stew :o) while watching a movie and then having some quite time and reading a book
11:40 pm - sleep!

Wednesday July 2, 2008
6:30 am - Wake-up and decide to go see the baby in the hospital before heading to the office
7:15 am - Stop by Mugg & Bean (as close as South Africa gets to Starbucks) for a hot chocolate and lemon & poppy seed muffin to go :o)
8:00 am - Arrive at Sunninghill Hospital to visit our little guy, who is always content to just be held with his head curled again your heart for hours, except for when the physio woman has to suction out his lungs. He HATES this and screams as he looks at me with eyes that say "I can't believe you're letting them do this to me!!!!"
9:15 am - just as I am about the leave the doctor comes through on rounds and then, concerned that the scar tissue they removed from his airway last week may be returning, begins bringing specialists through to evaluate him. They decide that the scar tissue is probably back and want to do a CT scan at 3:30 pm to see the entire airway and lungs.
10:45 am - The doctors leave just in time for me to race from the hospital for a meeting
11:05 am - 1:00 pm - Arrive 5 minutes late for a supervision meeting with another house mom (this one has 13 boys, ages 8 (twins)-18). Towards the end of our meeting the boys arrive home from Holiday Club at church and decide to show me the "fashion show" they came up with the night before. This involves them hiking their pants up to their chests, trying to look like nerds, and then individually doing a funny walk across the floor as they introduce themselves. Meanwhile one of the boys beats the table like a drum while another does a rap about each boy to the beat. They do a huddle in the middle of the room before the show to psych themselves up. It is hysterical and I laugh so hard I cry. :o) They then tell me that the girls spilled the beans about the fact that I took them to see "Kung Fu Panda" and ask when I am going to take them... looks like I have a movie date on Saturday with 13 boys! :o)
1:00 pm - I receive a call from the nurse at the hospital asking when I can come in to sign a consent for the baby to be put to sleep for his CT scan - not sure why they didn't think of it in the morning!! I then race to the hospital because I have a hot date at 1:45 pm with 9 little boys :o)
1:45 pm - 4:30 pm Meet Pam (a volunteer and great friend!) to take 9 little boys (the oldest is 10) to see "Kung Fu Panda". It is quite an experience to get 9 little boys all sitting down and then run back for 9 sets of popcorn and "Slurpee" style drinks while you see them running out of the theater to "make a wee" every few minutes! The boys loved the movie and don't have a shy bone in their bodies, calling out "yeah! get him!" at the top of their lungs during the movie, and practice all of their new kung fu moves in the parking lot before a 6 year old asks me if he can drive us home... "Ummmmm, no. Please get in the car."
4:30 pm - 7:00 pm - Head over to Miriam's house for tea and some hanging out before she leaves that night on a 2 week visit home to Michigan.
7:30 pm.... More stew :o)

Thursday July 3, 2008
9:00 am - 11:30 am Pick up my house parents and take them to the house parent prayer meeting (this happens once a month when we try to get all of the HPs together - the first time I was quite taken aback since the African style of worship and prayer is a long way from San Clemente Presbyterian... I love both!) :o)
11:30 am - 12:30 pm - Get my first look at our most newly purchased home with Angie (our amazing director... just love her!) We try to figure out how many kids we can put in each room... I think this home will easily hold 9 or 10.
12:30 - 1:30 pm - Spur of the moment management meeting since we all happen to arrive at the office at the same time! It is decided that I will probably start managing a 6th home sometime in August when it opens. We debate the best plan for our recently-arrived 8 year old girl who has experienced horrible sexual abuse for 2 years and so is quite hard to control and has to be supervised at all times since she does not yet understand what kind of things are not appropriate for children. She's never been able to have any kind of boundaries... I think our best bet is going to be to try and find her foster parents who can focus on her completely.
1:45 pm - Supervision meeting with a house mom of 9 girls.
2:45 pm - Grab KFC for lunch :o)
3:00 pm - Pick up Claire (our Occupational Therapist, and another great friend!) and head to the hospital together to see the baby. Traffic means it takes 40 minutes to go 4 miles.
6:00 pm - Arrive home from the hospital feeling so heartbroken for leaving the baby alone there. He isn't feeling well and has started keeping his fists clenched from being poked and prodded all the time. Usually he is a happy, goofy little boy, so it is just hard to see.
6:45 pm - Can't take it anymore and head back to the hospital to hold the baby until he finally falls asleep in my arms at 10:30 pm.
10:45 pm - Speak to Gerda (our CEO) for a while about the baby and about how things are going in general.
12:30 am - sleep!

Friday July 4th, 2008
9:00 am - Arrive at the office with my Mugg & Bean muffin and a Starbucks hot chocolate (thanks Jodi!!!!) :o) And reply to emails from the last 2 days where I've been in the office for a total of about an hour.
10:00 am -11:00 am - Supervision meeting with a house mom of 8 girls.
11:00 - 11:45 am - Work in the office. It's decided that I should attend the arbitration meeting on Monday for a domestic assistant who says I fired her from one of our homes and wants 8 months of pay (Pretty sure I would know if I had fired someone... and I definately haven't)
12:00 pm - Head to the hospital to see the baby
12:45 pm - Angie & I meet with the baby's pediatrician to learn the results of Wednesday's CT scan (they didn't want to tell us over the phone). In short, the heart condition that went unrepaired for his 2 years of life before he came to Acres, has caused a tremendous amount of damage to his lungs. There is one section of one lung that is undamaged. Our best, and only, option for him is to keep him in the hospital for a month (heart breaking) and load him with medication to try and get his lungs into the best shape that we can. Hopefully in a few weeks the pneumonia and infection will be gone and the swelling will be at a minimum from the medicine so that he can undergo an operation to remove a portion of his trachea that has been scarred and is now making his airway too narrow. The nerve wracking part is that this is an operation that can only be done once (there is only so much trachea you can remove... not enough to take pieces out twice) so we want to give it the best chance of being successful. If this operation doesn't work then there are no more options and we will loose him... so this HAS to work.
3:00 - 3:30 pm - Work in the office.
3:30 - 4:30 pm - Supervision meeting with a house mom of 9 boys (our kung fu experts from earlier in the week). The meeting ended right at bath time. I heard lots of laughter coming from one of their bedrooms. When I pushed the door open I found 6 little boys standing in their underwear who started laughing hysterically as they screamed "It's Mommy Kelli!!!!! Ahhhhh!" and started jumping behind their beds trying to hide their almost-naked bodies. I dramatically covered my eyes and yelled "Ahhhhhh! It's naked boys everywhere!" which brought more hysterical laughter. :o)
5:00 pm - Arrive home and eat dinner (guess what I ate... stew... shocking! Finished the last of the batch, thank goodness!) while watching a movie.
6:30 pm - Swap cars with a house dad so that I can take all 13 of his boys to see "Kung Fu Panda" the next day...
7:00 pm - Arrive at "Game Night" at a guy's house to hang out with friends :o) Learned a little bit about Rugby as we watched the highlights reel on the news from the day's games. (Did you know Holland had a rugby team?! And that some guys wear a soft helmet to prevent scar tissue build-up on their ears?!) I then got the winning answer for our team in "Cranium" by knowing the definition of the word "curmudgeon"!
12:15 am - Headed home :o)

And now, it's Saturday, and here I lay in bed at 10:45 am having just typed out the play-by-play of most of my week. :o) I hope I've helped give a little bit of a picture of exactly what it is that I do all day :o) Last week, of course, was completely different because I was hosting a donor team of Americans... I do love that every day is different! :o)

Alright, off to get dressed and take 13 boys to see "Kung Fu Panda"! (Third time seeing it is bound to be just as exciting as the first :o) haha)

See lots of you NEXT MONTH!!!! YAY!!!!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Long Overdue...

So, maybe the stew was a mistake because now I've made stew four times (including tonight, and each batch lasts about 3 days - eating it at every meal!) and I feel like I may just start dreaming about stew. But really, what can ya do when all you know how to cook is stew and grilled cheese sandwiches? Seriously, the lack of macarroni & cheese in a box took away one of my staples... Though I did find teriyaki sauce in the store tonight so I am back in the game with my teriyaki chicken & couscous dinners. :o)
When things happen over here it seems that they all decide to happen in the same week! This week our sweet open heart surgery baby from a couple months ago was back in the hospital on life support again. And again, against all odds, he pulled through and will be just fine! (Though I could definately do without standing next to the bed of a baby while they start crashing in the future!) His lung collapsed last week and in the process of trying to fix that the doctors discovered that his trachea had been almost entirely blocked by scar tissue from the ventilator he had during the last surgery. SUCH a good thing that his lung collapsed or we may never have known that he could hardly breathe! He's such a happy baby, he never complains, even when he's on the verge of suffocation, which is a little frightening for those of us who try our best to monitor him... But before this whole issue with his airway, he was doing beautifully! He was off of oxygen, except at night and had learned to sit up for the first time in his life....
So now we're back to square one with him (minus the scar tissue which was surgically removed), but a good square one because he will be able to breathe this time and his heart is still doing wonderfully!
And in the midst of wanting to be with him at the hospital every day (which I have managed to do, thankfully) I've had a team of Americans to host. It never seems to be just one hat or the other... always wearing a few at once!
Okay... sorry to be so brief! I need to head to bed! But I have promised Sarah that I will write "A Day in the Life of Kelli" this week... so there is something to look forward to! :o)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A Momentous Occasion...

TOTALLY forgot to mention the big news in my last post, but... ready for this?! I COOKED!!!!! Like really, from scratch (mostly) cooked! On Sunday I made a stew, it actually turned out to be good even though I didn't have a recipe and just guessed on the entire thing. The only problem was, I didn't really know what I was doing, made too much, and have eaten nothing but stew ever since Sunday because it would have gone bad and there wasn't space in my freezer. So, though I had quite a few moments of "Hmmmm, how much salt? Oops, okay, that much!" etc it tastes good! (Or it did for the first 4 meals!) :o)

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Autumn in June...


So... I just deleted the sentence that said I didn't really have anything to write about, because after taking 2 more seconds to think about what to say I realized that there are always a truckload of stories I can tell! It's strange how things that I would have counted as "big news" before can almost be put at risk for becoming "ordinary"...

The thing that I am finding the most odd at the moment is the fact that we are now right in the middle of fall in South Africa. Leaves seem to almost attack your car as they fall constantly from the trees while you drive down the street. (You can't really walk down the street here, even in your neighborhood unless you're with a group that includes at least one big man... and I haven't found many of those yet, though I'm holding out hope :o) )

Now for a story or two...

It is amazing how often God does miracles here. And not even the casual joke kind like "Wow, the grocery store finally had the kind of pasta sauce I wanted - it's a miracle!" But honest, "You shouldn't even be alive right now" miracles! A VERY exciting one from last week is that the baby who had open heart surgery back in April - you know, the one we took off of life support with doctors saying he would live an hour at most - came off of the oxygen he's been dependent on for his entire life! For the first time in his two years he is breathing completely on his own not hooked up to a single machine and has also learned to sit on his own for over an hour at a time.

Another absolute miracle happened last Sunday. I honestly don't think I've ever been so scared in my entire life. I was lying in bed early Sunday morning having just wished by brother a happy birthday when my cell phone rang again. I didn't recognize the number so I debated not answering thinking that it would probably be someone wanting something that would require me to get out of bed... but I answered anyway. It was one of out management team and she said "Kelli, a child's been run over by a volunteer's car at one of the homes and you live the closest!!!! Can you go now?!" She was in such a panic and I felt the adrenaline start rushing through me as I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt over my pajamas before even hanging up the phone.

I phoned the child's house as I drove (won't say how fast) and the assistant told me that the child was still lying under the car screaming and the ambulance hadn't arrived yet. I drove through every red light figuring that if a policeman tried to stop me at least he would end up at the home to help at the same time that I would. I prayed so hard during that drive, both that the child would be okay, and that the ambulance would get there before I did so that I would not have to be the only one in charge of trying to manage what I imagined to be a horrifying scene.

I drove up to the house and immediately saw that the ambulance still wasn't there (it had taken me 10 minutes to get there) and started running down the driveway hearing this 10 year old boy screaming from beneath a car that was tipping over a retaining wall. Just then we saw the ambulance drive past the house so I ran back out to the street to wave it down. As the paramedics came running in I ran into the house to make sure that the other 9 boys couldn't see what was happening. Thankfully their house mom had locked them in the living room with a security gate so all that they could see was that an ambulance was at their house (very exciting to most 5 and 6 year old boys!). I ran back outside (don't think I've run so much in quite a long time!) and the paramedics had lifted the car and pulled the child out and were giving him oxygen on the ground. As they loaded him into the ambulance they told me that it was critical - I started praying minimal internal bleeding.

I drive to the hospital in between the ambulance and fire truck, both with sirens blaring, and once there they immediately whisked him into a trauma room for a full body scan. While he was being assessed, I asked the volunteer what happened and she said that while they were loading the boys into the car for church he had taken the keys to unlock the door but then also leaned in and started the engine without anyone noticing. The car had been in gear and so started jumping forward and when the volunteer reached in to try to turn it off they both fell, with him underneath the car and her wedged between the car and a wall. His head was being crushed face down between the undercarriage of the car and the brick ledge that the car was teetering on. Thankfully the volunteer's body just stuck in such a way that it stopped the car (she was fine by the way) just before it would have taken the child's head off.

An hour after we arrived at the hospital we got the news that the body scans had come back completely clear. The house mom began crying with relief and I had to sit down with my head between my knees because the adrenaline that had been keeping my upright was suddenly gone.

To have seen the after-effects of the accident has made me so amazed by how God so perfectly saved this child. He had deep cuts along both sides of his head from his cheekbones to just behind the ears, one side from the car and the other from the bricks. There had been so much pressure that he couldn't chew well for days because his teeth hurt so badly, and his face swelled up to the point that you couldn't see his eyes very well. Now that the swelling has gone down, the whites of his left eye is red like blood from the blood vessel that burst under the pressure. I don't know how he could have had that much weight on his head without crushing his skull except for the grace of God.

He has the innocence of a child and told me on the day of the accident, "I'm so glad God saved me. He saved me from Hell!" I asked him what he meant by that and he said "Under the car! That was HELL!" I told him that it was so good that he had been screaming under there because then we knew that he was awake and his lungs were working. I also said that it was good that he had been kicking his legs because we knew his back was probably okay. He answered "No, I was kicking because that lady on top of my feet was fat and I wanted her to get off!" The honesty of children...

He started back to school yesterday and said "My friends at school are NEVER going to believe this! They didn't even know that my head is like Superman and can hold up an entire car!"


Such amazing miracles....


On a note to vent my frustration for the day... one of my favorite little girls (though I know I'm not supposed to have favorites) is 2 years old and was born with a twin brother. She is HIV positive while her brother was negative. Because of that, their mother kept the brother but abandoned this little girl (who I think may be the smartest 2 year old I've ever met!). Her "mother" wanted to come visit her today so we took her out of preschool and she played with me in my "off-y" (her word for my office) while we waited for the "tummy lady" to arrive. (I started calling her the tummy lady because I can't stand that she would call this woman "mom". I just told her she lived in this lady's tummy before she was born.) Well, once again, this woman failed to be there for her child. Drives me absolutely crazy that someone like her can even have the right to visit. Since she's only come once in the 2 years we've had her little girl I think the child will probably start screaming if she tries to hold her of she ever shows up again... and frankly, hope she screams a lot! Okay, that's pretty horrible of me, but at the same time, another wonderful woman is the one getting up with her daughter 3 times a night to help her get potty-trained, so she is the one who deserves to be called "Mom"!


Okay... back to work :o)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Xenophobic Violence


Right: Crowds gather to try and find saftey at a police station
Left: A man beaten by the mobs


Over the past week waves of xenophobic violence have been happening in the townships and squatter camps in and around Johannesburg. It has been horrifying to see the images of violent beatings and even murders that have been committed by South African nationals against immigrants, many of them refugees, from other African countries. It seems that some people here have a very short memory of what it is like to be the ones treated as less than human because of factors outside of their own control. Images in the news here yesterday, though I will spare you from having to see them, showed a man who had been set on fire in the street while the crowd gathered around him laughed. He later died in a hospital with burns to 100% of his body... Unimaginable. One of our assistants told me that as she was coming from a township on Monday morning, people were being pulled out of the taxis to be beaten in the streets. I can't fathom how one person can do this to another...


In my opinion, what is going on largely stems from the huge populations still living in abject poverty here. The native South Africans (and to be fair, it is a small minority who are committing these atrocities) involved in the violence, don't have enough food, and often lack proper shelter, with winter quickly coming on. They are looking for someone to blame for their own circumstances and so are blaming the immigrants who they are claiming have stolen their jobs, homes, and are taking advantage of what little government services there are available to them. Thousands of people have been gathering to sleep in police stations to find some semblance of safety as their homes and businesses are the targets of violent attacks as well.


Yesterday we received a call from the Department of Children's Welfare asking if we had the capacity to take in some of the children who have been displaced by the violence. Of course we said that we would and I have been blown away by the responses of our house parents. Even the parents of one of our homes, who already have 13 boys to care for, have offered to take in another. They had a family meeting with the boys, explained the situation to them, and then asked the boys if they felt that they could help in some way. They boys were in unanimous agreement that they would share their home with whoever would fit within its walls. What an incredible blessing it is for our older kids to be learning in such a concrete way that God has blessed us, and them, with so much, and it is out of that abundance that we are called to give all that we can. They are learning for themselves, that when another human being is suffering, we have a responsibility to step up and do all that we are able. Please be praying for the violence here to end quickly! (And FYI - I am not in an area that would put me at any risk, just to ease your minds Mom & Dad!)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Moments that leave you speechless...

Today I had one of those moments... One of our little girls, she's 11, is going to camp with her school next week. She is HIV+ and for the first time will need to be somewhat in charge of taking her twice-daily ARV's (anti-retroviral medication) by herself. She had been told that she was HIV+ over a year ago, but it had gone over her head a bit when she was 9, so her house mom and I decided that I would take her out for ice cream and explain it to her again. I tried to choose my words so carefully, not wanting to scare her, but also wanting her to help her understand how important it is for her to take her medicine right at 7am and 7pm each day. How to help a child not be afraid when they're told they have the same virus that they saw their mother die of 2 years ago is difficult...
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: I'm so excited for you to go to camp! You'll get to be in charge of your medication all by yourself, do you think you can do it?! (with a smile)
Her: Yes!
Me: Do you know why you take medicine sweetie?
Her: No.
Me: Well, it's because you have something called HIV, and your mommy gave it to you, and the medicine is what makes sure you stay strong and healthy. Do you remember when your mommy got sick?
Her: Yes.
Me: The reason she started to get sick from HIV is because she didn't have the medicine that you get to have. HIV is something that lives in your blood and tries to be in charge of the cells that keep you healthy. If the HIV gets to be in charge then your body has trouble staying strong, but if you take the medicine exactly right, then it can help your cells stay stronger than the HIV, so that you won't get sick. But that's why you go to Bara (Baragwanath hospital in Soweto - a township - has an AIDS clinic that many of our kids go to every few weeks) so that they can check your blood to make sure that there aren't too many HIV cells. Because if there are they will need to change your medication a little bit. So the medicine you take is what is going to help you stay healthy so that you can be an old granny someday!
Her: So I'm going to have to take medication even when I get big?
Me: Yup. When you get big then you'll be in charge of going to the doctor all by yourself for them to check your blood. But you know what? Lots of people in South Africa have HIV, and even lots of kids. Kids can get it from their mommies sometimes, like you and your little sister.
Her: But she takes different medicine then me.
Me: I know, and it's because everybody's HIV is a little bit different, so they give you the medicine that's exactly right for you.
Her: So if I don't take my medicine, will I die like my mommy?
Me: (as I took a deep breath and prayed for the right words) Well, if you stopped taking your medicine, then you would get very sick like your mommy did. But she didn't get to have the medicine like you have, so with your medicine, you will get to be much older then your mommy was. I think she was so sad not to get to see you grow up, but you are going to get to grow up and be such an old lady! That's why your mommy brought you and your sister to Acres, because she knew that we could give you medicine to keep you healthy and she loved you very very much.
Her: Okay.
Me: Do you have any other questions about HIV?
Her: No, but I'll think about it. Do you know what my favorite kind of pizza is...?

And so ended a conversation that took my breath away...

Last week I talked one little girl through her first period and a teenager through her first kiss - this job is a little crazy, but I love it!!!! Nowhere else I'd rather be...

And yesterday I went to help fetch a two month old baby who's dad was offering to pay people to take him. He's the most perfect baby boy and it's hard to imagine what must have been going through the dad's mind as he placed his son in my arms. He was shocked, and a little relieved, when we told him that we didn't want money from him, we just wanted to make sure his baby was safe...
What a weekend this has been! (oh, and today I attended my first Mother/Daughter Mother's Day Tea in which I was the mother - pay no mind to the fact that I would have been 17 when having my "daughter") :o)


Happy Mother's Day to you Mom, and to all of my mom friends :o)

Friday, May 2, 2008

Short & Sweet...

As I type this I'm laying in bed in my newly rented cottage!!!! Yay for having my own bathroom and kitchen again :o) I'll try to take a few photos (as soon as it's a little more decorated) and post them up here. As is evident from my lack of posts, things have been so busy...
The sweet baby boy I mentioned last time sailed through open heart surgery beautifully and was discharged from the hospital a little less than a week ago. His house parents came down with the flu on the day he was supposed to go home so he came to live with me for two nights instead. :o) We did some significant middle-of-the-night bonding and he even convinced me to let him sleep in my bed. Well, okay, he can't talk, but he was saying it with his eyes (and whining!).
Safari was awesome last weekend - saw a leopard kill a warthog and then drag it up a tree right in front of us! Crazy to be in a safari jeep and driving over trees taller than the car (this could be a Land Rover commercial). A family of probably 15 elephants crossed our path too!
Okay, sorry to be so short, but I'm off to bed!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Did I Mention I May Not Be Good At This???



Hello all! So sorry that I've now been in South Africa for 2 months and haven't posted an update for half of my time here! Life's been a little more than a little busy and I actually haven't even been on my computer in the office very much because of hosting visitors and kids in hospitals... Here are a couple of highlights from the last month:
  • A sweet baby boy arrived just under a month ago and has become our most recent miracle. He is a two year old angel who has Downs Syndrome which it at the root of some significant heart defects. Two weeks ago today we took him to the hospital with a fever and he ended up being admitted and then suddenly crashing that afternoon. After being on a ventilator for 2 days the doctors suggested that we take him off and let him go because there was little chance of him ever making a meaningful recovery. Our whole staff was so broken over having to watch a baby die, and this little one's mom even came to kiss him goodbye at the hospital. Well, to make a long story short, after rotating a constant bedside shift with him for 2 days he began getting BETTER rather than slowly slipping away. He is now a giggling little ball of smiles and hugs and, though still oxygen dependent, is going in for open heart surgery tomorrow morning to try and repair the 2 large holes in his heart to give him a chance to make it to his third birthday and beyond. The biggest risk will actually come after the operation, when he's back on the ventilator for a few days, when the doctors will watch to see if his pulmonary artery can handle the pressure of normal blood flow. We have all fallen so deeply in love with this baby boy! Please pray for him to live a long and healthy life!!! (I've attached a photo of him with me in his favorite position - sleeping with his head over our hearts :o) )

  • The next little story was my first time being pulled over in South Africa! I got caught driving while talking on my cell phone (I was getting an update on the baby - no one cares if you don't wear a seat belt or use a car seat here, but NO talking on a cell phone! :oP) When I pulled over the policeman said "Well, that's a R500 fine (about $55)" and looked at me. I had my wallet and said "I don't have R500 on me (thankfully I'd spend all my money that morning!) I just have R20 and a $5 bill." He said "Well, what do you want me to do?" and I suggested that he mail me a ticket or something. He said "Okay, I'll take the $5 bill, but don't do it again." So, I've paid my first police bribe here, giving me infinite faith in the South African justice system... But, my bank account is definitely thankful that I didn't have to pay the actual ticket price!

  • I get to take a little prop plane up to Kruger National Park next week to go on safari with some visitors for a night! Yay for a night of not working :o) And the "younger crew" from work and I are planning a trip up to Victoria Falls (we'd be staying in Zambia) in June, so that's fun to dream about too!
  • AND I think I may have found my own little cottage to move into which would be AWESOME! I'm head over heels in love with the little girls in my house, but there really is just NO space or time where I don't feel like I'm at work when I'm at home, so it will be really nice to come visit them A LOT from a place where I don't share a tiny bathroom with two teenagers :o)

Okay, gotta be at the hospital at 6:45 tomorrow morning for the baby's operation so I I better go to bed since I haven't slept more than 6 hours in 5 nights now... I'm a peach of a person at the moment on not enough sleep! Won't go so long between posts again!!!!

Love to all!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Learning to Balance Two Worlds...

South Africa is definitely a country of contrasts. Rich and poor, black and white, big city and safari wilderness... It is so strange sometimes to think that, according to global economy standards, South Africa is a first world country (the first heart transplant was done here, and it's the only country to have voluntarily disarmed its nuclear weapons arsenal) and yet by far the vast majority of people live in third world conditions here. Almost all domestic workers who are employed in middle and upper class homes (including ours) go home to a shanty made of tin and plywood. Most domestics make about R100 per day (about $13). They work so hard all day for less than most Americans (including me) make in an hour. So many are in their 50's and 60's, and have experienced infinitely more under apartheid than I will in a lifetime, and yet they have to ask me for permission to miss work for a day so that they can wait for hours in a clinic line to get medical care. Others are mothers who leave their children home alone so they they can go take care of another person's children - just to put food on the table.
And then there is the other side of South Africa, the night club I went to last week with a friend here, where you would think everyone had just walked off a runway in Paris - Fashion TV is the name of the place! We just got dinner and drinks, but watching the people there gave me such conviction for how, though I am here to serve these kids, my world is still so different from the vast majority of South Africa's black population. You see the evidence of apartheid here everywhere only 14 years after the end of such terrible oppression. Many of the streets are still named after leaders in the apartheid government, though slowly they are being changed to traditionally African names (which DOES add a lot of confusion if you don't have a new map!).
Just a few thoughts for the day...

Monday, March 3, 2008

So I'm A Slacker...


...who hasn't updated her blog in 2 weeks! So sorry about that! Things have been wild and wonderful and... exhausting!!!! I am loving every moment, even on the worst day here - where I am so frustrated by something, or even by one of the children - I feel so blessed to be able to be here as a newly consistant part of their lives.
Just under two weeks ago, one of our toddlers smashed his thumb in a security gate - nearly sliced it off from just behind the finger nail. Generally this would have meant putting him to sleep briefly so that they could stitch and we could have been on our way. In the case of this little one however, he is 18 months old and oxygen dependant most of the time (though he can run and holler like any 18 month old, he has lung disease as a result of exposure when he was abandoned as an infant). This constant need for extra oxygen meant that he would have needed a very expensive team of specialists to monitor his vitals if he was put under anesthesia. Because of this the private hospital we generally take our kids to sent us to Johannesburg General Hospital, a great specialty hospital, but a terrible one for general care. It is a government hospital, meaning that you only pay based on ability - since he is a government dependant his care would have been free.
We ended up waiting in that hospital for over three days, each day being told that his operation had been moved to the next day due to space availability. It was horrendous to see the neglect of the other children who didn't have family staying with them. One abandoned premature baby in the bed next to him wasn't changed or fed for HOURS and HOURS, so mothers of other children began caring for her. We had debates about whether her name should be Hope or Grace instead of "Bed B-143". Our team was getting so angry with the fact that our baby wouldn't be given food all day because he was going in for surgery, only to have it postponed at 6pm. On Sunday (the injury happened on Thursday) we decided we'd had it and I finally put my foot down with the nurses and removed him "against medical advice". It was so frustrating to see how this baby's house mother had been treated so disrespectfully by the nurses because she was black (the nurses were black as well, but for whatever reason didn't feel the need to treat people of their own race with any human dignity). It is infuriating that the fact that I'm white had them bending over backwards to get his paperwork completed and he was released less than 20 minutes after I had told the nurses that I was taking him home.
We took him back to the private hospital, where an orthopedic surgeon agreed to do the operation that same day because he was so horrified at how long this baby had to wait. The team there was amazing, and though we will probably have to pay through the nose for the care, it was SO worth it to have our kids and house parents treated with love and care.
As I alluded to before, racism is still so palpable sometimes in this country. Oftentimes actually. Even the quality of services available to whites verses those that are affordable to most blacks... Thankfully there is a growing black middle class, but it still feels so absolutely wrong to me to have a black man or woman, often twice my age, cross their arm when they shake my hand (a sign of submission and respect.) Everything in my wants to say "I should be doing this to you!!" but to reject their offer of respect would be seen as incredibly rude.

On a happier note, I took 6 nearly-adolescent girls to the movies last weekend in celebration of the fact that they had been wearing their new bras for an entire week! :o) Celebrating the small milestones I guess. They had been so resistant, saying that they were uncomfortable and on and on, so I finally resorted to all-out bribery. After a whole month of none of them missing a single day, we will go ice skating... (yes, I realize that I can't ice skate AT ALL, so I'm still trying to figure out how exactly I'm going to get myself out of actually having to be on the ice.)

SO... there are my notes for now! A team of Americans arrives on Wednesday, so the tour guide in me is preparing itself :o)

Love to all!

Friday, February 15, 2008

A Week of Firsts...

This week has been filled with so many new experiences, and today contained one more that I will never forget. We had been anticipating the arrival of a 9 month old baby girl whose young mother had become too sick (with AIDS) to care for her. I ended up being there when the mother brought her daughter to us, and was elected to be the one to bring the baby to its new home and introduce her to her new houseparents and brothers and sisters.
The mother arrived, looking not much older than a child herself, and as she watched the social workers exchange documents and exclaim over how beautiful her daughter was, her face seemed to hold an expression of absolute devastation. I cannot even imagine handing my baby over to strangers, knowing that they would get to witness all of the events of her childhood that I wouldn't live to see. I am so thankful that this mom chose to give her child, who is also infected, the best possible chance at a wonderful life.
As I drove with the baby in my back seat, I prayed aloud for her and her mother. For their lives and their futures. When we arrived at her new home she had fallen asleep in the car (I'd like to think of this as a compliment to my slowly improving South African driving skills, but it probably isn't!). As I took her out of the car she woke up and as her new mom excitedly took her from me a tiny smile passed her lips.
I instructed the houseparents on the 5 different types of medication to be given to this little one each day, and watched as all of the other children excitedly touched her tiny hands and cheeks. While I sat with her on my lap, the three year old girl, who until now had been the baby of the house (we had been a little nervous about how she would respond to being de-throned) climbed up onto the couch next to me and tried to pull the baby onto her lap. As I rested her on her new big sister's legs, she was given a big preschooler-size kiss to the cheek and I knew that they would be just fine. :o)

... It is funny the things that nearly bring me to tears here. Tonight, as I watched one of our older girls play a kids soccer game at church, with all of the other children chanting her name over and over when her turn to play came, she scored and jumped in victory all the way back to the huddle of children who were united against the team of parents. The other children circled around her and cheered. I was so excited to see her so celebrated, knowing that she was the reason that we also have to watch the painful moments of a mother walking away from her infant... the chance for something more, something wonderful, and a chance to know that their lives are worth celebrating.

What a day!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Unimaginable...

(This photo is one I took on my first visit to South Africa.)



I cannot find the words to describe what I witnessed yesterday. Two other staff members and I went to visit a home we had heard about in Illovo (an impoverished area near downtown Johannesburg). When we arrived at the house, we were greeted by a woman who estimated that she had 29 children, mostly infants and toddlers, living in her three bedroom home. She wasn’t even sure how many children were in her home! We could smell the house as we walked through the dogs and mud that filled the yard. Once inside, the smell was nauseating. Three babies sat in infant chairs on top of the counter and a little boy, maybe a year and a half old, sat on the dirty and broken floor staring blankly – not a toy in sight.
The poor woman herself looked just exhausted as she had only that morning been released from the hospital with Hepatitis. Her skin and eyes were so yellow. As she toured us around the house she opened the door to a bedroom in which 5 babies laid in cribs and 6 more with laying on the floor, again with not a single toy. Just left to lay there with the door closed. Inside one of the cribs was a set of premature twins that she said were three months old. They were smaller than most newborns. From that room she took us into a second room filled with wall to wall cribs – sitting inside each was a toddler. One of the toddlers was an older sister of the twins, named Rachel, maybe a year and a half old, who was lying in a crib covered in scabies. The woman touched Rachel's leg to show us her sores and she just SCREAMED. She is such a beautiful baby girl. There were older children in the yard, well above school age, in the middle of the morning on a Wednesday...
The cribs themselves were just filthy. As we left the bedrooms we walked past a baby boy, maybe only 9 months old, who had thrown up all over himself and the floor, and no one had even noticed until we walked by. We are going to try to sort things out with her (she has all of the children there without a license of any kind, no record of who they are - so that we can take as many as possible as quickly as our homes can manage I think. We so strongly feel thazt we must get them out of there. They've all now probably been exposed to Hepatitis as well. The home had a stench that made all of us ill, and a roach crawled across the table in front of us as we sat talking with her.
It is so frustrating to see something like that, where someone believes they are doing something good for these children, when so clearly they are just sustaining the same misery that these kids probably came from. I cannot fathom how that kind of situation is acceptable to anyone, or why she has waited so long to ask for help. I am so thankful that she is willing to give us so many of the little ones. They are human beings being treated far worse than animals...
My heart is just breaking for them to know that they are there even as I write this… and to know that there are well over a million more just like them in South Africa. I am praising God for the health and safety that our children live in our homes. We left the home wondering aloud the fastest ways in which more homes could be opened. The families who have partnered with us are part of God’s miracles for these incredible kids!