I Should Have Been A Hat Rack...

This is a crazy week... though I am beginning to think I may never see a normal one again! Earlier in the week someone sent me an email that said "I hope you've been able to rest before the flood of visitors arrives!" Seeing as the flood was raging BEFORE they arrived, it has just turned into a bit of a tsunami! :o) It is a week of wearing all of the hats that come with this job. Okay... I just went on a little tirade and then deleted it, because you never know who might read this, but basically, there are moments in my job (and probably everyone else's too) where the things we HAVE to do in order to make the big picture possible, seem to get in the way of the work we WANT or even NEED to be doing. Generally, I can handle it all pretty well, but this week, there has been so much going on that I feel like I am dropping the ball more than I would like to on the really important things having to do with the kids. Those are the things that I NEVER want to compromise on, and yet there are the hats... and more hats... and more hats.
Since our little guy has been in ICU, there are very tiny visiting windows that are absolutely enforced down to the minute by the nurses. This is understandable, because there are people in that ICU who's blood is literally coming out of their body in tubes and then being pumped back in again with a machine... Those nurses don't have time to mess around with visitors who get in the way of patient care! But, because of this, if I miss the visiting time (10:15-11am; 3-4pm; and 7:30-8pm) I'm out of luck. So far I've been able to get there every day, but tonight was a close call!!! I'd been hosting international visitors all day, but I knew that they were going to try to take the baby off the ventilator today and wanted to be there to see how it went. Long story short, I was SO afraid I wasn't going to make it to the hospital, and I knew no one else was going to have seen him all day, so as soon as I finished dinner with our guests, I did some "creative driving" (all lawful by the way... I think...) and made it to the hospital with 8 minutes to spare during the last visiting time.
Needless to say, the news was not what we'd been hoping for, and when they removed the ventilator, the baby couldn't breathe on his own so they had to put it back in. I spoke to the nurse about it and she said that it could possibly be that his airway is just still too swollen from the operation and needs a bit more time. They did do a chest x-ray and his lungs are looking okay, which is GREAT. So now we're hoping that the repeated ventilations don't scar his trachea again, because we can't do this operation again. He spent the whole few minutes I was with him trying to open his eyes to see me and straining against the strips of fabric that are tying his hands to the bed (so that he doesn't pull the ventilator out). His face is so horribly swollen from medication, and all-in-all it was just so sad to see... But I am SO glad that at least I was able to see him... Honestly, it is probably the fact that he can't yet breathe that is affecting my whole attitude (can you tell from this post that it needs a bit of an adjustment right now?!) Because the rest of the day had actually been pretty okay!
So... adjusting...adjusting... On a completely separate (and much happier) note, I read the most amazing book this weekend. It's called "The Shack", by William Young. In short, it is a novel about a man who experiences horrible tragedy when his young daughter is killed. (I know, not sounding happy yet, but trust me, we're getting there!) Three years later he receives a note from God asking him to come back to the scene of the murder. He decides to go thinking that he is probably going crazy but so angry with God that he wants to question Him face to face if the note turns out to be real. Over the course of the weekend, God, in the persons of Father, Son and Holy Spirit (each taking physical form in a way so as to go against all of his preconceptions), spends time with him bringing unexpected, and often painful, glorious healing. The conversations they have are stunning (to use a South African term) and I was so surprised by the honesty and grace with which this story speaks. It never minimizes the pain of the main character, but also never diminishes the God of the Bible either and yet somehow navigates an incredible road of redemption. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it! I hear that it's been on Amazon.com's Best Seller list... It made me see God in a new way...
So... I am now off to bed so that I can wake up early to squeeze in supervision meetings for my house parents in the morning wearing my "regional manager" hat (yes, in the midst of all of this I will begin managing a 6th home being added to my region!) before putting on my "host" hat again! :o)



P.S. To those of you who have emailed recently and wondered why you have not received a reply... as soon as the tsunami passes, expect a message from me!!! :o)

Until then, love to you all! (And I hope this third draft of this post didn't come off sounding quite as unfiltered as the first two attempts! Just one of those nights!)